Saturday, September 29, 2007
where
Posted by maei at 4:23 PM
i've just lost a link to him.
i think he's taken his blog down. i wonder if mine's still his homepage,
all i can say is... actually i don't know what to say. prolly it's all for the better. if that's the case, then all i can say is thanks. for thinking in my place when i'm terribly overrun.
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Monday, September 17, 2007
bee-sy like a bee.
Posted by maei at 2:20 AM
blogging in my room now. mike is camping over to mug for til i sleep, coz bingbing is still sick >__< and mark refuses to turn the fan any higher than 2. or 1. sigh. poor thing >__<
apparently, mark will be moving out this couple of weeks. bingbing too.
mugmugmug!!! yay, i just finished studying for the into to manuf. processes test. it's actually a very interesting subject. i promise to diligently attend the lectures from now on.
the worst of all subjects to catch up to will prolly be maths and the electrical and magnetic properties of materials subjects ba >__< coz maths and physics haven't been my forte for about over a year le. sigh. take this mid terms as a chance to catch up on everything ba.
really going to be a damn busy week. no thanks to my procrastinating nature. let's see what i have to do.
1.) sew the sashes
this one mummy offered to help me along ^__^ materials bought today le ^__^ need to get reimbursement!!! coz i bought an external hard drive today, then daddy pon-chon me 50 bucks, means i still ahvet o pay 70 bucks. its a 250GB drive! not bad eh?
2.) figure out the chords for... tian mi mi.
shouldn't be too tough, this one, coz i played before in CO le. and should be quite easy to find from online resources.
3.) do report and expt for E8
wah... this one. still headache man. they tell me it's quite an easy report to do. actually quite unexpected. the teacher's requirements for a formal report is actually only 10 pages. which is like... where am i going to put all that theory?! where am i going to put all the calcultations?! omit omit omit! yay! easy job. hopefully so la. coz it's clearly specified, not more than 10 pages, of which, the objectives, contents, introduction, procedures, equipment, results, log sheet, graph all take up around 7+ pages le...
the headache part is... i haven't gotten a chance to do the quiz yet. i missed my original slot, missed the second opening they did for me, and am now requesting for another slot on monday... hopefully, it comes through.
4.) do report for E7
E7 is not too tough either. plotting graphs with results that are pretty good, plus log sheet the answers are given, just need to elaborate. so it prolly won't take me too much time.
but it's all a lot of work to do. and maybe he was right... i'm relaly overloading myself a bit. or maybe, making myself too easily arrow-able.
in fact, i was arrowed for the sashes too... when the heads were discussing about the sash, someone mentioned my name le lor, said that i participated in cosplay, so prolly know how to sew quite well... thanks lor.
and the chords too, coz i was one of the 2 keyboardists... the other one happily MIA'ed. i don't like to work with him either... so. ah well.
but a bit sadded.
coz this time the YAC perf, i won't really get to sing. i'm just like, playing the keyboard the whole way lor. quite sad ar. was really hoping to get to sing smth.
oh yeah, there's one song i'm singing. hua hi diu ho. the hokkien song. sigh...
wish i was singing something else, but ah well... what can i say? jalyn jie also say that live accompaniment produces better sound than minus 1 track. and is not they arrow me de, is jalyn jie want me to play de, what can i say?
sigh. all in all, it's going to be a terribly busy week.
well, at least one thing to look forward to is that DND is on next sunday, so after the mad rush this week., things should settle down a bit more... hopefully.
had a tiff with him over me busying myself too much this evening. i didn't call back later at night, and neither did i receive any word from him after very abrupt apologies were exchanged.
sigh.
these arguments are so familiar. i sorta wish it didn't happen earlier this evening. just sorts of brings back all kinds of unhappy stuff.
ah well. let's not think so much. i'm getting sleepy. maybe do a bit more work before i turn in ba.
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Saturday, September 15, 2007
crappy cramps.
Posted by maei at 8:13 PM
said i wanted to post... but don't really feel like it now i sit myself down to the task....
super sian. haven't had cramps this bad for a while... sigh.
it's a touch choice. goosebumps? or oven stove. lol
anyway, no use moping around now. need to work... next tues is my manuf test... and i've only done about a third of the revision. have 2/3 more to go. gambatte ne!
haha. said i'll get back to school next week, and i MUST. OOSH!
cramps go away please...
sorray >__< haha, such a pathetic attempt at posting... lol. promise a better one!!!!
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Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Posted by maei at 5:24 AM
before he told me that he placed my blog as his homepage, it was already mine. his blog, that is.
i asked myself if i could find myself back beside him, and i couldn't. not in the near future. he said that i should push on, persevere and not run to him at every emotional breakdown.
i guess i was being a child.
now all i have that's material is his blog.
just watched "Silent Hill" with the juniors coz i didn't want to sleep. and now that i feel the fatigue, i wish i had someone to cuddle the freakiness away.
stoning at the keyboard now. haven't blogged for so long, i've forgotten how it's like to express myself anymore.
it's all so ironic. when i wished he would keep tab on my blog, notice when i post emotions hard to express, he never seemed to remember even the address. now.
haha.
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
buses, walkways and sleep.
Posted by maei at 1:54 PM
maybe it wasn't a good thing to sleep when i got back. so many thoughts, all jumbled up again.
i was feeling positively miserable this morning, but i guess it's what happens when you put a relationship under euthanasia. only that there is no quick, easy way to do it.
i feel like such a kid.
maybe i hadn't WALKED away from us. i sort of just teleported away. because while it is obvious i am not beside you anymore, it seems the environment has never changed. like i'm sort of standing still, although i know i should be walking forward.
this morning, after mike and mark went off to class at N3 and branched off from me, i walked through the rooftop walkway alone. i just sorta thought about him. and the same thing happened, as everytime i thought so.
the wind was chilly and i walked on, slowly slowing, until there came a point when i simply just stood still in the middle of the road. and stared blankly ahead, immersed in a cold feel, and goosebumps.
this is what always happens when i think about us. at hall 2 slope, at school, at orchard road. on the way in to his flat.
i don't know what it is, fatigue? because i feel just so tired. like i couldn't take another step without effort. heavy hearted, heavy footed. it just made me wish i could just stand there forever, without taking another step.
don't know why i'm suddenly making such a statement about walking. all i know is, it's about time i pick my life back up, and stop standing still.
today, i had to wait for a long long long time for the shuttle to come. was so tired i nodded off at the bus stop a few times. i remembered in the past, i would send out a complain sms to him, and the next moment, the bus would arrive, like he sent it down for me.
and a dozen other little things that, oddly, i can't conjure up.
ah well. i guess i AM tired after all. going back to sleep for real le. oyasumi.
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revenge's sweet tooth.
Posted by maei at 9:07 AM
maybe it's my just desserts for not having posted for forever?
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weird thoughts.
Posted by maei at 8:58 AM
have so many thoughts after watching the serial.
how can someone be as greedy and selfish as me? the once i really really want to be ren xing, am i going overboard? i think i am.
so childish.
but well, i guess it'll really take some time before someone can understand what i need so well, before whoever it is can offer it before i ask, anymore.
in fact, i would guess it's been some time already.
i think i'm going mad at times. hitting the refresh button 5 times in a row, hoping that something was just on its way out is just not sane.
and i guess you'll be reading this too. hope it doesn't pressure you to post. coz it's just pointless. haha.
it's like putting a favourite soft-toy away into a closet for good. on certain nights, i guess you've just gotta take it out to hug.
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on drugs.
Posted by maei at 8:49 AM
am i thinking too much?
it's like i'm on drugs. whenever a space appears in whatever i'm doing, i hit the refresh button. and the same words jump out at me.
i've finished watching the whole series of "One Litre of Tears" and at no time throughout have i felt as near to tears as i am now.
i keep telling myself it's pointless to think so much. and i keep looking to the future like how it always used to help.
kor told me, that on his next birthday, he would love to have both of us celebrating it for him. i keep picturing the scene when we were at the pub and i was yet to be 18. us on high stools, chatting away.
i wonder if that day will come.
usually, when i'm down, i try to see a year or 2 ahead, and i think that a single event in one's life is all it is, a few days in tens of years to come. i'll get over it.
wish it helped.
ah well. no point thinking so much. i've been up the whole night and thank goodness today is a short day, one tutorial and one lecture. prolly gonna give the lecture a miss.
can't help but wish i had more. but i guess that right is not mine, though he keeps telling me it is.
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