Thursday, August 09, 2007

Posted by maei at 10:39 PM

morbid games

it's tiring, this morbid game we play.

it starts with you choosing a piece, an argument or comment flung offhand. it will always end in silence. it's process varies; sometimes it gets loud, others, strained and contained.

it's like a dance, both circling each other, in offense and defense. always swiping but never truly hurting. it's almost choreographed, in it's predictability and recently increased frequency. like rehearsals before a dreaded performance.

it's like a tussle, but never quite so bodily warm. often, it is sharp and cold, and provides grim satisfaction in landing a successful blow. it's like yearning for approval which is always denied, and returning with a vengeance.

in the end, it's all about well-placed words and poorly-chosen phrases. it's about tempers and patience and tolerance. of restrained voices and contained emotions. triumph and resentment.

this morbid game we play. it's testing my faith, but it's like we've fallen in a limbo and can't break out. helpless puppets, or crazed materminds?

and you ask me why i'm feeling emotionally spent.

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