Saturday, April 01, 2006

Posted by maei at 10:13 PM

what the hell i'm doing with my life, i have totally no idea...


i took a job, which i hoped would pay for my driving lessons comfortably. but it doesn't, just only barely.

the job i took is a mundane job.

and at moments like this, it can be sooooo boring. other than that, the people that i sometimes have to work with will take all the remaining energy i have out of me.

like her, for example, whom i'm working with tonight. when she first found out i swapped shifts with jason, she said, "oh, so i'm working with you on saturday." in that tone of hers that said ohmygod... ooooooooooooooohmygod. just my luck..

i don't know why i dread meeting her so much. it's almost like she's deliberately trying not to respond to me. i know we have nothing in common to chat about, but when i come in and you passover, you could pass over to both pple taking over, instead of just to the person that is not angela. maybe i'm being too sensitive. but can't you even just say hi, when i come in and say hello?

sure, we do talk, but not like talk, you get me? it's just like, all work related, and it's not even talking any more than it is telling, for like information's sake.

sadded :'(

i wish i could get along with her. i so so wish.

at least my life won't be so miserable. i try, you know, to not be formal, but casual's so awkward, when she doesn't respond. i try to strike up conversation, but it just dies on me. it takes 2 hands to clap, you can't say my social skills suck if i can get along with all BUT you, right?

but anyway, back on track. another reason why this job sucks is because the hours are totally unsuitable for a frolicky young girl like me. i've got ZERO life as of now. i don't get to go to PA 2 practices out of 3. i don't have time to game. i don't have time to go for class gatherings, i don't have time to go out.

i just don't have time.

i don't know how people manage to sustain a life AND this job.

so i'm glad my term is ending. this is terrible. how can anyone ever be happy working in a job they're dying to quit? in fact, the only thing that's keeping me in this job is my contract, which i'm certain i cna't breach. i haven't checked with human resource, but that will only weaken my will to stick it out til at least the 6th may.

darn, just found out vesak day is on the 12th may.

which essentially means my last day will be on... 4th may, instead of 3rd, as i had hoped [clear public hols leave on 6th and 5th, coz i don't think they'll give me my off day that week, could try tho'].

dunno. such mixed feelings. they asked if i'd miss them when i leave. probably LV and lynn, for a while. but then, i'll think, their life goes on without me, and mine without them. my term as an operator for 3 months would not have made a difference to them, and operations will continue with or without me. and in thinking so, i will cease to miss them, because i know i don't feel anything for this job, and the people around.

she has just walked into the office.

my assistant front office manager just attened his last day at work yesterday... and i knew nothing about it at all. my telephone manager wil be leaving, 2 GSAs are leaving, aida and lv wanna leave too, people from concierge, executive floor and business centre are all leaving too... soon it'll be my turn. but operation will go on, conrad will remain as a 5 star luxury hotel.

oh, what a weird world this is.

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