Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Posted by maei at 9:59 PM

tralala.

this is me blogging at my workplace now...

as per always.

nothing much to say today, just thought i might come up and do my blog some justice...

decided to join inno with meishi... probably try to psycho shieh yuan as well XD meishi seems troubled, as per her blog, but i guess i'm in no position to pry. hope she is truly happy where she is... she seems rather stressed by her job >_<

she mentioned sheryl and huijie flying away to oterh parts of the world, and that this is where jc life truly ends... i guess i feel similarly ba... at least for me, i feel so out of touch with everyone around, bubbled up in a job that leaves me too apathetic towards anything outside of myself. myself, as in me, my family and kel. and game. i don't even speak much with shieh yuan anymore.

is this what it's going to be like, when you and your best university mates graduate, and you each find different jobs and lead different lives? it's like, i can always hold on to the thought that there's always university life that will bring us back to each other. but for how long more? is it really so?

it's really really sad when friends part. but it's worse when you just drift slowly, and one day, you might find yourself hating the very fact that you did nothing to stop yourself being overcome by that accursed apathy.

am i an apathetic person?

sure, i might be able to tell how you might think, or react, at times, but how much of you do i actually know? and do i actually care that i don't?

i'm actually very scared that living together with SY might cause cracks in our friendship, from the strains of everyday living. but i want to bunk with her all the same, because i don't know what else to do that can keep us close anymore. i mean, sure, we won't be like cold or anything, but. i've gotten used to her daily presence, and now i'm getting used to her absence, and it doesn't feel right that i should.

and about everyone else too. i miss the gumi, but i can't remember when was the last time we hung out as a group anymore. or when i made a call to any one of them to chat.

i don't know... i feel so out of sync with everyone else. i would hear them talk about how "yesterday, we blahblahblah...", "oh yeah... that day she said blahblahblah..." and i would be like, okay... issit O_o?

i guess it's called feeling left-out. only, this time, i don't have a right to grumble, coz it's all my own fault...

dunno why suddenly so melancholy >_<

anyway, back to inno.

surprisingly, daddy and mummy both allowed it, but mummy said to only take one camp a week. so that i can go on with my driving lessons and personal life... speaking of which, my driving lessons will be delayed, and wel... i don't know... i really really wanted to just do my lessons like how i planned, i guess. but well. i think the job sounds pretty good. lol.

other than that, i'm pretty consumed in my new read, "the soulforge" the book about raistlin's history. yups, and that's about it, for my thoughts of the day.



10 more days to 6th may
6 more days to 2nd may

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