Saturday, April 29, 2006
Posted by maei at 6:22 PM
hungryi'm hungry i'm hungry i'm hungry i'm hungry i'm hungry i'm hungry i'm hungry.
i typed that, not copy and paste, k.
today was a generally boring day. went online for some 5 minutes, saw that my robes were changed, enchanted. found out later from dear mr lam that he had also bought new items for me. apartr from that, my bag was nicely void of junk, arranged neatly, and instead of a soul pouch almost void of soul shards, it was not only chock full, but i also have 15 more shards in my backpack. the missing one being the slot that mr lam has used to put my hearthstone. i of course put everything more or less back to where i was accustomed to having them, minus the fact that my bags were blissfully clear of items.
i think he is addicted to sucking souls. coz everytime he plays with khryss, he'll happily happily suck souls. haha. apparently, this time round, he got kor to bring him to feralas and he just followed behind to suck souls... anyway, it was a good thing, coz my exp upped by about a bar or two. haha!
i was looking forward to having some substantial play time tomorrow, but it seems i'll have to report to work at 12 noon for dance pract, so i won't get to touch the comp at all >_< my goodness. it's disgusting! but no choice la... last day liaos, might as well have some fun, right?
after all, i have an extra week to do what i want online, while weiwei is at school i will... REN3!!!!!!
haha. i guess that's about it le ba. get back again later.
1 more day til 30th april
3 more days til 2nd may
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Friday, April 28, 2006
Posted by maei at 11:59 PM
termination of contractDear Rachel and Melissa,
We are going to terminate the contract with Ms Ling Wan Ching/contract operator. Her last date of employment will be Sunday, 30 Apr.
Dear Jasper,
Angela is 6pm-2am shift today. Please inform her the above.
Regards,
Nelson
like WOAH. that was sudden.
the information was plonked on my head today (as in friday) and i was congratulated by a few of my colleagues in the front office department to have tuo1 li2 ku3 hai3. lol.
dance pract for me will prolly be on monday... sianz. i had made plans with dearie to camp at his place for monday and tuesday night, but then, it seems i'll have dance pract on monday afternoon, and team members' day on wednesday afternoon. so... a bit difficult to argue for 2 midnights, ne?
lol.
maybe we can catch some midnight movies. that'd be fun. haha.
made some pathetic sort of cards for everyone in the telephone department today... will probably be passing them out between tomorrow and the day after... some i'll have to give earlier because i won't be seeing them again (like, geraldine, for example).
it's a weird kind of feeling. i'm certain i won't miss this place, or the job. but i guess there'll be a couple of people i would love to keep in contact with.
finished "the soulforge" today... going to kope the next book from dearie soon. haha, maybe monday? then he can play his game, and i can read my book! haha, and hopefully, i'll be tired enough to sleep, at least until mummy leaves home for marina south... such fraud! haha. ooh! maybe i can psycho mummy they all to send me down to conrad for dance pract on their way down to marina south! haha. yay.
but confirm she will be unhappy. "how can they like that? make you work midnight, then make you come down in the middle of the day, when you're supposed to be sleeping?" haiz.
dunno. a bit of a weak argument, plus the fact that i won't be able to sleep very well the next morning... haiz.
i was saying... oh yeah! had a really satisfying 75 mins online today. ran rfd with dearie and kor, and all the cloth items we were out to get dropped, as well as a blue BoP item which was really very rare, since kel has only seen it twice in his many many runs in rfd... and i just picked it up. like that. and all i can do is... vendor it!!! *tears hair in frustration* haiz... disappointed in myself. but i got many many many many many many many items. green, blue, white, gray.
and daddy pulled a cold one on me today... he told me! he told me i got as letter from NUS just as we started to whack the lich king! and you know what? i was so happy, i screamed about it in party chat, and kor and kel were congratulating me and you know what? it was a letter from NTU to invite me to that MSE tea reception again. BLAH...
made me so happy for nothing.
tho' it would have made a good ending to a really good day. haha.
hm, but the day was quite good, pretty uneventful. made my "cards" (which were in fact a4 sized paper folded twice) haha. pretty good pretty good. i made on for geraldine too! haha, what a nice junior.
anyway, i'm testing out instant tea made from the hot water of our new coffee maker... smells pretty good. wee~
2 more days til 31 april
4 more days til 2 may
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Posted by maei at 9:59 PM
tralala.this is me blogging at my workplace now...
as per always.
nothing much to say today, just thought i might come up and do my blog some justice...
decided to join inno with meishi... probably try to psycho shieh yuan as well XD meishi seems troubled, as per her blog, but i guess i'm in no position to pry. hope she is truly happy where she is... she seems rather stressed by her job >_<
she mentioned sheryl and huijie flying away to oterh parts of the world, and that this is where jc life truly ends... i guess i feel similarly ba... at least for me, i feel so out of touch with everyone around, bubbled up in a job that leaves me too apathetic towards anything outside of myself. myself, as in me, my family and kel. and game. i don't even speak much with shieh yuan anymore.
is this what it's going to be like, when you and your best university mates graduate, and you each find different jobs and lead different lives? it's like, i can always hold on to the thought that there's always university life that will bring us back to each other. but for how long more? is it really so?
it's really really sad when friends part. but it's worse when you just drift slowly, and one day, you might find yourself hating the very fact that you did nothing to stop yourself being overcome by that accursed apathy.
am i an apathetic person?
sure, i might be able to tell how you might think, or react, at times, but how much of you do i actually know? and do i actually care that i don't?
i'm actually very scared that living together with SY might cause cracks in our friendship, from the strains of everyday living. but i want to bunk with her all the same, because i don't know what else to do that can keep us close anymore. i mean, sure, we won't be like cold or anything, but. i've gotten used to her daily presence, and now i'm getting used to her absence, and it doesn't feel right that i should.
and about everyone else too. i miss the gumi, but i can't remember when was the last time we hung out as a group anymore. or when i made a call to any one of them to chat.
i don't know... i feel so out of sync with everyone else. i would hear them talk about how "yesterday, we blahblahblah...", "oh yeah... that day she said blahblahblah..." and i would be like, okay... issit O_o?
i guess it's called feeling left-out. only, this time, i don't have a right to grumble, coz it's all my own fault...
dunno why suddenly so melancholy >_<
anyway, back to inno.
surprisingly, daddy and mummy both allowed it, but mummy said to only take one camp a week. so that i can go on with my driving lessons and personal life... speaking of which, my driving lessons will be delayed, and wel... i don't know... i really really wanted to just do my lessons like how i planned, i guess. but well. i think the job sounds pretty good. lol.
other than that, i'm pretty consumed in my new read, "the soulforge" the book about raistlin's history. yups, and that's about it, for my thoughts of the day.
10 more days to 6th may
6 more days to 2nd may
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Monday, April 24, 2006
Posted by maei at 5:11 PM
red hot chilli peppershaha... that's what my butt certainly felt like last night... why? haha. haha. hahahaha. owing to the normal biological processes a human should have, what is ingested should be duly passed out after all nutrients have been exctracted from said igested specimen...
and why did that set my butt on fire?
easy. everything i ate the whole day was spicy >_< i ate super spicy, but super nice prawn mee for lunch, spicy sichuan ramen at crystal jade for an early dinner, and nasi lemak with lots of sambal for supper... haha. but it was really really really good.
haha.
went kayaking yesterday morning. haha, it was super!!! 8 of us turned up... that was, me, meishi, ailin, libin, kailing, jianda, shiwei and justin. navajos power! 75% of navajos showed up!!! haha. we kayaked from PC to the food centre and back. and on the entire trip, we met up with heavy showers twice, and had to beach up once... to eat raisins ^^" haha.
but NS is a good cure for immaturity, i guess.
JD and SW were no longer fighting with each other the whole time, and they were such gentlemen!!! haha, whenever we had to launch off into the water, they would hold on to our boats for us to help us get on and launch off... and would even give us a good hard push to help us get into the water fast. haha. sooo nice. makes me feel rather pampered, coz the girls in OAC are all rather gung-ho one, usually everything can do by themselves, but hey! that doesn't mean we don't enjoy being pampered once in a while, right? haha.
and another thing i noticed... kailing was pretty seasick on our way out, so you know what? it was like, unspoken, but they just took turns to kayak beside her, and kept a lookout for all who were slower... my goodness! the kind of feeling... it's like you're watching your little kids grow up into men *blissful expression*
haha, then we went back to suntec, and me and JD went to eat, and then i came down to work...
then the day before... that's the day i MC'ed, the performance was a "success".
successful in that the audience loved it, but not in the sense that we made so many stupid mistakes... haha.
the makeup was super cool tho'. i had this cloudstrife-like fringe, and my make up mnade me have sharp eyes, and i put blusher in the faye wong style, so i looked, well... PRETTY! haha. pretty shuai too. so egoistic, i took like so many many photos of myself into my handphone... can't wait to show dearie ^_^
went to the pre-release before PA, and i met chris and wen han >_< they don't look like how they sound in-game... lol. kel fell sick tho'...
then i went off first to PA, and met all the people i haven't met in such a long time... missed them loads >_< haiz...
...yeah, and i was saying, everyone was having so much fun. i did too ^_^ made up myself (am very proud of make up) and had face painted by pei rong. hair was done by mingwei... so fun! he spent like, an hour on my hair... i had cloud's fringe (for a while before everything drooped a little, but still nice) and everyone around was saying how i looked like an anime character. they don't know how happy i am to hear that. haha. so fun so fun... that day was one of the days i enjoyed myself the best...
after that, we reached the performance area, and even when we were about to perform, i didn't hear from kel T_T i guess pretty much that he was KO'ed at home... haha, so i didn't call him, no nothing, until after the performance. there was a drizzle and it was crowded anyway, so his nose would've given him hell. such a senseble person i am. haha.
then later jio kor out to eat... haha, went out in full make up and hair do, and joyce said she wants me ^_^ haha.
so that wraps up my two better days in a long while. it's the 24th april today...
12 more days to 6th may
8 more days to 2nd may
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Friday, April 21, 2006
Posted by maei at 8:12 PM
what would you do?you had a concert coming up that you'll be giving an mc at work for. the performance item is a percussion item that you had already performed at chingay... when you first practiced for it then, you asked your boyfriend to come down to listen to it, but he never had a chance to. you want him to hear it, because it's a percussion piece that you really really like, and you'd like to share it with him. moreover, he is not the kind of person who would very well appreciate traditional music, so you thought a more rousing percussion piece might be more interesting.
so when you first knew of the performance slightly more than a week before, you excitedly told him about it, and asked him if he was free. he said yes, and you booked him for that night. better still, you realise a couple of days before the concert that it's situated near his house, and informs him about it.
then, on the night before the performance, he tells you he'll be staying over at his brother's house for mahjong overnight, then pre-release the next morning. it slips his mind, like it had before, that you were performing that night. he remembers with a start that he also has an instance run scheduled that night. he says:
"oh. wah... the saturday one is more important... coz it's the beginning of the run mah, so if anyone loots any drops, you will be pushed up on the rank... but if i don't go... then, well, i'll be frozen lor, just that i won't rise on the rank."
you remind him that the item is the opening item, and he is pleasantly surprised. but you have once told him before already, just that he forgot. you tell him that you had hoped to be able to go home with him if you could give the rest of the concert a miss, but since he's rather intent on running the instance, then well, there's not much of a point going back with him. he asks:
"make up your mind what you want, then let me know tomorrow."
you tell him, it's not about what i want. what do you want? he says:
"if you ask me what i want, then i'll tell you i want to stay home the whole day, and play the whole day."
you know he would definitely be happier staying at home. he would be tired after his pre-release, and it would be good if he could have some rest before his run. you know for a fact he isn't too keen on the concert, and the only reason he would turn up is because you asked him to. but you want him to hear you perform too. and you would be happy if he were to come down. just that after this turn of events, you'd probably feel guilty too...
what would you do?
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Thursday, April 20, 2006
Posted by maei at 1:55 PM
more dolls ^_^a black one! dark faerie ^_^
and a funky green one ^_^
a blue one!! wanted to make it like, serene... mermaid goddess kind of thing, but i guess that will have to wait... coz i'm so attracted by the hair!!! haha. here goes.
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Posted by maei at 10:48 AM
bee-sy daywas a busy morning! wahaha. for a change. busy due to phone calls tho'. thank goodness it wasn't due to phone faults or something...
i realise that the bus 857 makes me think a whole lot about my relationship with kel. maybe coz our relationship started off on the very same bus? haha. can still remember the days when we would go home together from suntec on the bus, and he would send me up to the 12th floor. we would chat, a lot. and we would take public transport together everyday. we used to say, all our time spent together are on public transport, and our relationship was built on buses and trains.
i missed those days, somehow.
i think a lot. sometimes, i think i'm thinking too much for my own good. the main point here being that i'm not thinking constructive stuff. i'm not thinking happy stuff.
i'm thinking, do i see him in my future? as of now, no. and it's not likely to change anytime soon. or so i think. because it's not his situation. it's his thinking... and him. there's just... something. i don't know how to put this across.
i'm changing my thinking... i used to hope that oen day, i'll see some changes in him, or rather, that the him i know is temporary. i really don't mind his sloppiness (at times) but it's not something i would want to live with, like always. you see what i mean? he was like this, before i came into his life, and i'm starting to think he will always be. and his procrastinating nature. he once told me he didn't use to be like that before she screwed his life. but i don 't see him bouncing back. i don't know... these are all flaws that i can live with, but not like, always.
and i'm starting to think... do i see him in my future? is his future one i see myself in? and i'm not getting affirmative answers. and then, i think again. why? what's the point then, if we go on together? it's my mum's voice, telling me that. you know, this is terrible. it was exactly the same thing that happened with JD.
and all this is going on in my head. i wonder what he is thinking at the moment... i wonder if he know how i feel. i wonder if he's ever given all of this a thought.
see? thinking too much... but of course, all of this is just a small insistent thought in my head. i still do feel very much for him. i don't know. i don't know what i'm goiing to do about this. i don't know... i'm really lost at times. i think one day, i will be unable to keep all of these thoughts in my head, and i will speak to kor. and when that day comes, it will be... sad.
you know, i just recalled a scene... at the playground, where he used to drop by, after work. he was saying, you keep bottling all these negative feelings up, and you try to resolve them by yourself. and if you can't, and they build up, one day, you will be unhappy, and you'ld want to break up with me, and i wouldn't know why it all happened, because it's all been in your head.
have i already taken it a step too far?
there are so many different thoughts, all disjointed, running through my head. it's not making me happy. but i think if they one day get sorted and i get an answer, it'll make me sad.
but let's not say sad things.
the food in the canteen was actually pretty decent today ^_^
feeble.
blah >_< nvm, will update again later... prolly with more dolls.
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Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Posted by maei at 11:17 AM
here's another onesee? what did i tell you? lol. the things you do when you're so totally bored... at work now, by the way.
and another!
thinking of making a whole series of faeries... let's start with a super pink (bimbo) one... haha. so girly, i shudder.
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Monday, April 17, 2006
Posted by maei at 12:50 PM
sometimes...when you just have nothing better to do... more coming up. haha.
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Thursday, April 13, 2006
Posted by maei at 1:53 AM
music is mei bought new phones today!!! i meant, yesterday morning... haha. got story one kay.
coz i didn't get to buy the nice acrylic white ones that i wanted since i entered JC, i decided to go to HMV heerens to check it out... haha, it seems that HMV heerens does open at 10, and luckily it did, coz i... WALKED there!!! haha. i ended work at 730, so after a shower and breakfast, i left the hotel at about 0815/0820... reached city hall mrt at 0830 or something... and i decided to walk to heerens... reached there at about 0915. haha... okay la, about a 40 mins walk. i used mummy's earphones to have music keep me company... and you know what? i was still so early, i had time to stroll around, and sit at spinelli's at the heerens with an apple smoothie, finish it, stroll around some more, before the store finally opened...
feels very good, to be just strolling along, all by yourself... that's why i hope one day to go backpacking across europe, just walk and walk... with music as company, and a bag as a friend. nice, right?
but i think i hurt my left foot a bit... there was some funny tendon that felt a bit taut since i left the hotel, but i thought it was one of those morning pulls that would go away after a bit... and you know what? i carried on walking anyway, and i think i prolly hurt it a bit, coz now, it's still hurting when i walk... zzz.
but you know what's the best part? the heerens did not hold the phones i wanted anymore... so i was unhappy, and i walked on... and i say the words "SONY GALLERY" jump out at me on the paragon building... so i walked in!!! and i came out with a brand new pair of phones. haha.. thye're folded and standing on my desk now, to serve as speakers... i don't think i'm quite supposed to use them like this... but i kept the volume low, so the vibrations won't be too much for the phones to handle. hee. pretty stylo, but it looks super plastic... it is, by the way >_< which is such a pity.
went down to PA for practice just now, before work... oh my... it felt so super good, even though i feel so super tired now... haha. feels great to just hang around them again. and the performance is going to be at woodlands! i hope kel can go and see... hee. finally a chance to share the percussion piece i love with him. hee.
so so fun! i can't wait for my life to go back to normal.
hee hee.
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Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Posted by maei at 6:15 AM
another quiz!
What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
You are the color red. You are the most controversial of all the colors. You are often easily angered, but as easily as you got excited, you come down. When angered, do you have the tendency to be malicious? Afterwards, do you end up begging for forgiveness? Maybe. But you're incredibly generous, and, odd enough, needy. You love to hate, and sometimes, you hate to love. This color describes you as generally edgy. When in a bad situation, you're pessimistic, and when you're in a good situation, you're extremely optimistic. You're painfully tempermental, and sometimes it hurts the ones you love. But with an exciting and stimulating attitude, you enjoy talking to people and being social. But aside from your bold and outgoing attitude, you're attention-needing and attention-getting. This color is associated with lust and desire--and you are both lust and desirous. You're a protective person when it comes to the people you love. You're incredibly sharp-witted and powerful (not to mention intelligent!).
Take this quiz!
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Posted by maei at 4:16 AM
thinking... thinking...heard the song "sometimes love just ain't enough" by patti smtih over the radio just now... it's such a sad song. heard it once or twice before, but it's never struck me as so sad before. i'm sure if the next time we go to karaoke with kor and i ask for this song, kor will know what i mean. i think diana has sung this song before...
but never mind about that weird little musing.
was talking to aida during shift yesterday, and i didn't realise how deeply the politics of this office ran... apparently, she isn't too friendly with geraldine; who talks about me behind my back a lot; like i should have expected, anyway, since she talks about others to others a lot too. and the way she uses "we"... aida says that for her, at least, she just goes, "is it?", "okay", "hm..." to ward off these questions, so she doesn't back geraldine up... i personally would rather trust aida than geraldine. what cheek.
anyway, went to oscar's to eat the night before... didn't mention, right? we went there, and had a pretty good dinner. there was a pretty big variety of foor, but not all were fantastic... the desserts! ohmygodthedessertswerefabulous. haha. they had this HUUUUGE variety of desserts, which i didn't get to try all of T_T i was too full to even eat the chocs! so sad... coz the chocs are really really good. but the cake we ordered is untouched and at home, waiting for me to eat... i think when i go home, i seriously will eat it *salivates* haha.
can you believe it? i spent all my time after i returned home yesterday and before i went out yesterday sleeping!!! i reached home at around 0900, ate maggi mee, then went to sleep at around 0930. alarm rang at 1730, and snoozed til 1830. took a leak, called dear, who told me i didn't have to log on anymore, coz of maintenance, so i decided to go back to sleep. alarm went off at 1915, snoozed til 1930, and decided to reset alarm for 2000. and tada!!! i woke up with a huge shock at 2045. why? coz i set my alarm for 0800 *triple-zee* wtf?!
so i set out for work at 2110, hoping to get new headphones at HMV Citylink. but they have a total of 1 kind of phones in the range that i like... blardy. so now waiting for work to be over, then see if time is favourable for me to go HMV heerens to have a look at my phones. but before that, must really go to millenia walk to draw some cash, coz i'm so out of cash...
made like this huge embarrassment of myself in 7-eleven, coz i didn't have sufficient cash on me. when i asked if i could use nets, the guy told me i had to spend at least 5 dollars, which i clearly knew already, and i was trying so hard to cover up my shock at my empty wallet, i just acted cute and scrunched up my face, like, "huh... really ar... sad." like the issue was having to spend 5 dollars before i can use nets, and not that i was caught without cash on me. wahaha. thank goodness the cashier was a male... if it was a female, i'd just look totally dumb. haha.
spent half of my time online tonight searching for the opening hours of HMV heeren, and nothing, NOTHING! could be found... only that the heeren opens from 10am to 10pm daily... let's hope the shops open at 10am too... i took down their number too, tho' and can call to check, provided i'll be out til then.
anyway, my handphone's pretty much wasted now, coz aida's phone's flat, and i lent her my battery. gotta get it back from her later. please remind me.
oh my. i just realised what i said. lol. remind me *triple-zee* bleargh >_< my brains are being eaten up... have to go for pract this evening some more. which essentially means i won't get to play, AGAIN. and when was the last time i got to play? trying to think back now... that was when i got to take daddy's ride to work... which was... friday night? wow! can't be that long, right? right... that night, i levelled up, so it must have been saturday or sunday night that i played for the 30% on my level 39. anyway, i'm sure i blogged about it.
it's sucky, how once the idea of a break-up occurs, it gets so roote in your brain, one of you must do something to eradicate the idea, or it will really really occur. i feel like looking for kor to talk about this. to tell him just how i feel, coz i'm sure if i tell kel about it, he'll just be pissed, and if he just randomly finds a job, which he won't stay in, it's just going to repeat itself again and again... and it'll just end up being a waste of his time... but i don't want to be another person who's going to dump a rock in his well, and make it deeper.
it's just like the song goes, "now, i could never change you -- i don't want to blame you..." it's a confusing feeling... what i said didn't come out too accurately about how i felt anyway, it's just soooooo difficult to express what i'm thinking at the moment... haiz.
sian. this whole affair is making me tired. drained. and it's like plagueing me. i realise i can't seem to get out of this loop... it's a recurrent complaint that seems to have taken permanent residence in my blog.
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Posted by maei at 3:54 AM
sometimes love just ain't enoughnow, i don't want to lose you
but i don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
and i don't want to hate you,
i don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.
and that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
but like a fool i keep losing my place
and i keep seeing you walk through that door.
but there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
there's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.
now, i could never change you
i don't want to blame you.
baby, you don't have to take the fall.
yes, i may have hurt you, but i did not desert you.
maybe i just want to have it all.
it makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
and like a fool who will never see the truth,
i keep thinking something's gonna change.
but there's danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
there's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
and there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
are there things that you wanted to say?
and do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where i used to lay?
and there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
there's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Posted by maei at 3:27 AM
out of funteehee.
| Your Inner Blood Type is Type B |
 You follow your own rules in life, even if you change the rules every day. Sure, you tend to be off the wall and unpredictable, but that's what makes you lovable. And even though you're a wild child, you have the tools to be a great success. You are able to concentrate intently - and make the impossible possible. You are most compatible with: B and AB Famous Type B's: Leonardo Di Caprio |
| You Have a Choleric Temperament |
 You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior. |
| Your Seduction Style: Au Natural |
 You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you. |
Your Seduction Style: The Natural |
 You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast. |
and last but not least, recent results from the color quiz.
it's pretty cool the way it applies to your changing life...
Your Existing Situation
Readily participates in things affording excitement or stimulation. Wants to feel exhilarated.
Your Stress Sources
Unfulfilled hopes have lead to uncertainty and a tense watchfulness. Insists on freedom of action and resents any form of control other than which is self-imposed. Unwilling to go without or to relinquish anything and demands security as a protection against any further setback or loss of position or prestige. Doubts that things will be any better in the future and this negative attitude leads her to exaggerate her claims and to refuse reasonable compromises.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but restless and inclined to be emotionally withdrawn, which prevents her from becoming deeply involved.
Your Desired Objective
Feels the existing circumstances are hostile and is exhausted by conflict and quarreling. Wishes to protect herself and hides her intentions to avoid exposing them to attack, so that they will be safer and easier to achieve. Careful to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger her plans.
Your Actual Problem
Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of her hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. She tries to escape from this by withdrawing and protecting herself with an attitude of cautious reserve. Moody and depressed.
Your Actual Problem #2
Fears that her independence will be threatened or severely restricted unless she protects herself from outside influence. Does not want to be bothered.
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Posted by maei at 1:15 AM
how far am i willing to go?i was informed today that i would be needed for mini soundwaves performance on 16th and 23rd april. and you know what? since the roster would be generated for the 23rd only on the 15th, and i can't change my shift on the 16th, i really really thought i have to forgo BOTH performances.
which sucks.
nothing can explain the anger i felt just now. just how far are you going to push me? how much of my life am i willing to give up? i swore to pin yan i hated this job more and more everyday. i was willing to work 3pm to 1am and still turn up for work at 7 am the following morning. but, it all depended on the other party, and she wasn't able to help.
i want to perform! i want to perform in this performance. you can't ask me not to!!! this orchestra is something that will stay with me for years more to come, and you are just a job that i'll leave in less than a month's time.
so i decided that i would fight to perform on the 23rd. i have to, or else i'll be letting myself down. i wanted to file a request, but i think it would be rather futile. so i'm going to throw an MC. as how kel told me to. he makes sense. it's the only surefire way to get my way.
(on a side-note: that also means that i have to attend practice on wednesday before my graveyard shift, ie. i won't get to play WoW *sobz* but, i'll get to meet all my friends whom i haven't seen in such a long time i miss them millions.)
it feels good, to finally be fighting for what you want.
this job really taught me this. if you want something, fight for it. even if you have to offend people. it all depends on how much it is worth to you relative to all that stands in your way. if you are not willing to fight all the way, then it just does not matter as much.
it can make you seem defiant and selfish in the face of others, but that's another one of those naggy obstacles to overcome, and i guess in certain situations, you have to put that behind you.
i don't want to be a push-over. i want to fight for what i want.
you can make me drop some of the things for you, but remember, it all stacks up, and one day, i will find i'm giving up so many things for you, that i will become selfish, and want for myself too. one day, you will find me empty, and you will know you have hit my limit.
i will NOT be a push-over.
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Monday, April 10, 2006
Posted by maei at 5:19 AM
hungry~the internet in my office is back!!!
and it was announced triumphantly/happily/loudly by my dearest manager of all times, norman!!! haha.
it's bad... i'm developing bad work habits. like surfing the net while at work. or calling kel. haha. but well, other seniors do the same thing. so i'm not really gonna care much, except not to do it so often. and anyway, it's not like i get to work midnight every week.
speaking of which, i'll get an extra $96 (subject to CPF deductions) on my paycheck at the end of april (ie, 7th may, one day after i leave) because i worked 2x 6 nights of graveyard shifts. haha. i guess the extra money, coupled with the fact that it's a nice shift to work could ease up my frustrations with this shift's lack of life.
had very funny moods today. felt very down just now, coz thinking of unhappy stuff, which of course has to do with him. what can i say? i doubt he feels it, but there's a rift coming between us, especially in the way we think. and if this goes on, i don't dare think what will happen. and it's such an irony that he always says that people will change after they hit university. actually, i did not change my thinking, i just grew up and saw the more important hings in life. and despair at your lack of fighting spirit.
i wish i could help you.
but let's not think unhappy things now. save it for a time when i'm down again, then i can blog all i want about it.
hm... just recalled, i haven't keyed in the 3 A4 pages of writing i made some time back! haha.
hope lynn brings advent children with her today. haha, one day after she gets her confirmation, and already i'm dragging her off to the gift shop to sign a cake for me. teehee.
my warlock is 30% into her 39th level... 70% more to a mount!!! but i won't get to play all the way til weds evening *cries* coz tonight going out, tomorrow night maintenance (maybe i can get to play an hour before main)... which leaves, weds! and you know what? don't even get to play much on thurs, which is my off day, coz i end work only in the morning, and like, duh, i'd need to sleep, right? only thing i'm certain of. i WILL get my mount by thurs, by hook, or by crook *determined* sounds pretty weak actually, 4 days to get 70%?! like wtf?! i calculated. if i took 6 months to lv one character to lv 60, i essentially took 3 days to gain one level. which includes noob levels like level 1/2/3/4/5/6/... haiz.
so sad right?
hope i'll get to play more when i leave this job. but knowing the kind of person i am,i can't stand just sitting in front of the comp and play the whole day. i'll end up wasting my time flying here and running there.
think i got no motivation to grind after i hit lv 40. might as well, if still applicable, i'll learn tailoring and bring kor's new hunter to RFC. wee! set imp on aggressive and fire away. haha.
oops, think they resistant to fire? hm... we'll see.
wanna play wanna play wanna play wanna play wanna play wanna play.
bleargh >_<
it's 0555hrs now. in about 2 hours i can go home. these few days, i've been going home late, coz i stayed back to pei lynn they all. so nice right? haha. it's just like back to the oac days, when i'd feel guilty when i had to leave early, coz everyone's just so willing to stay longer.
hm... hell's going to let loose soon, at 0600hrs, coz got sooooo many wake-up calls.
*prays fervently calls won't bounce*
kay, then i guess, i'll sign out le. spend the rest of the time sweeping mines? or maybe i'll be back.
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Saturday, April 08, 2006
Posted by maei at 4:20 AM
night solonope, not as in the fun kind of night solo you get on ubin... yes, as in the kind of night solo you do when you're on duty alone in a hotel as a telephone operator >_< which is why i'm like, blogging now. haha.
good for me! my first night solo, and there are relatively few wake up calls... hm... we usually get like, 3.5 pages of calls to monitor, and with especially many at HOT times like... 0600hrs, 0630hrs and 0700hrs. the rest of the times are beyond my duty. BUT! for today, i've got a grand total of *whips velvet off table* TWO pages!!! more like 1.5 pages, considering half of the space is taken up by the formatting. woo~
can't believe my luck. haha. how to say, night shift is good, coz you get a lot of peace and quiet. and when you have little to do, it's pretty relaxing. *prays fervently remaining nights would be good too* and wake-up calls can be pretty straightforward if no idiots refuse to pick them up. and while you've gotten all your calls printed out, and waiting for the phones to start ringing in the rooms, you draw lines and make sure all calls are properly recorded, which should be the way if everyone is doing what they're being paid to do.
*nods reverently*
all in all, it's a good shift to do.
discussed with shieh yuan about hostel accomodation. and considering all the costs and everything, we gathered that hostel staying is actually a pretty attractive idea.
spoke to mummy and daddy separately about it, and they seem okay with the idea, so may be giving it a shot when my application goes through. more or less settled on NTU le. when i mentioned i'll be taking engineering, most people told me go NTU coz it has a better school of engineering. and i always wondered why. jianda told me, when we went out for dinner, that NUS's school of engineering is only ONE year old.
O_o boggles o_O
WHAT?!
lol. hard to believe right? plus, MSaE is supposed to be this really really cheena-fied course, at least in NUS, coz most of the students and staff are cheena. AND! a plus point in NTU's favour is that JD said that the staff present at the NTU tea reception for the MSaE school were very "welfare welfare" people, which sounds really good. JD even said that was what got him like, seriously thinking about taking up MSaE. too bad the courses he applied for in NTU were firstly aeronautical engineering, then MSaE.
haiz...
don't really know what more to say liaos. i wrote like, 3 full pages of thoughts 2 nights ago, when i was on the 6pm to 2am shift with geraldine doing late shift. zzz. lol. 5 whole hours of silence... near silence anyway.
tonight was better. we didn't speak, as per normal. BUT! i asked questions that didn't irritate her. i wonder why she's always so irritated with me. just like the last time i did graveyard shift, norman came in and asked how it went, and i said, i liked it, coz it was a comfortable shift. and you what she told me? never, EVER, say a shift is comfortable. with the way she would take off her specs, and look at you with that crooked smirk. i mean, seriously! what's wrong with saying you're comfortable with a shift? if your boss asks, you'd want to give an honest answer, right? if you think that by saying i'm feeling comfortable, i make you feel weak, or look weak in front of the boss, then i guess, i'm sorry, you ARE weak. haiz, this is the one thing that i've been keeping with me for the longest time, with nowhere to complain. i just hope she knows little enough about the internet to access this site.
and you know what, it's really sweet. when i opened up my F10 (that's my notepad in the hotel's system),i found this message inside:
"Never log out ahhh!!!hahahaha...see,now i am writing rubbish in your F10...muahahahhaa.....ok see ya!"
signed *anonymous*
(i've actually a good idea in mind who did this.)
haha, feels good to know people here actually play pranks like this. friendliness? haha, if i'd typed in what i wrote earlier on, you'd realise i don't expect to make any friends that would last out of work. but it's still nice to know people are actually being nice to you, and you've tried, and will try to be nice to them; at least while you're at work, you'll have people who will really smile, and joke with you. i guess most of them do, those around my age at least, who are not so jaded by this rather sucky environment.
peace.
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Sunday, April 02, 2006
Posted by maei at 8:44 PM
boredi am supposed to be working, not blogging.
i am supposed to be working, not doodling.
i am supposed to be working, not thinking about my off's and all.
haiz.
sometimes, i think a busy day would be so much better than a boring one. [/touch wood] never the less, i dread a situation where the phone calls are coming in non-stop and i have no time to walkie anyone or to write down messages properly. LOL. i'm a picky person, ain't i?
i'm getting bad.
i'm squirming to free up one night, for myself. coz i just want to. i miss the kind of feeling of just comfort and warmth from just snuggling close. maybe it's coz the office is exceptionally cold tonight.
i haven't been feeling very reassured these days, that he is taking good care of himself, and his life. it's back to the same point, you see? haiz, i've got to break out of this cycle.
and the only times when it seems i'm not half bothered by it, is when i'm warm and snuggly.
this is bad...
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Saturday, April 01, 2006
Posted by maei at 10:13 PM
what the hell i'm doing with my life, i have totally no idea...i took a job, which i hoped would pay for my driving lessons comfortably. but it doesn't, just only barely.
the job i took is a mundane job.
and at moments like this, it can be sooooo boring. other than that, the people that i sometimes have to work with will take all the remaining energy i have out of me.
like her, for example, whom i'm working with tonight. when she first found out i swapped shifts with jason, she said, "oh, so i'm working with you on saturday." in that tone of hers that said ohmygod... ooooooooooooooohmygod. just my luck..
i don't know why i dread meeting her so much. it's almost like she's deliberately trying not to respond to me. i know we have nothing in common to chat about, but when i come in and you passover, you could pass over to both pple taking over, instead of just to the person that is not angela. maybe i'm being too sensitive. but can't you even just say hi, when i come in and say hello?
sure, we do talk, but not like talk, you get me? it's just like, all work related, and it's not even talking any more than it is telling, for like information's sake.
sadded :'(
i wish i could get along with her. i so so wish.
at least my life won't be so miserable. i try, you know, to not be formal, but casual's so awkward, when she doesn't respond. i try to strike up conversation, but it just dies on me. it takes 2 hands to clap, you can't say my social skills suck if i can get along with all BUT you, right?
but anyway, back on track. another reason why this job sucks is because the hours are totally unsuitable for a frolicky young girl like me. i've got ZERO life as of now. i don't get to go to PA 2 practices out of 3. i don't have time to game. i don't have time to go for class gatherings, i don't have time to go out.
i just don't have time.
i don't know how people manage to sustain a life AND this job.
so i'm glad my term is ending. this is terrible. how can anyone ever be happy working in a job they're dying to quit? in fact, the only thing that's keeping me in this job is my contract, which i'm certain i cna't breach. i haven't checked with human resource, but that will only weaken my will to stick it out til at least the 6th may.
darn, just found out vesak day is on the 12th may.
which essentially means my last day will be on... 4th may, instead of 3rd, as i had hoped [clear public hols leave on 6th and 5th, coz i don't think they'll give me my off day that week, could try tho'].
dunno. such mixed feelings. they asked if i'd miss them when i leave. probably LV and lynn, for a while. but then, i'll think, their life goes on without me, and mine without them. my term as an operator for 3 months would not have made a difference to them, and operations will continue with or without me. and in thinking so, i will cease to miss them, because i know i don't feel anything for this job, and the people around.
she has just walked into the office.
my assistant front office manager just attened his last day at work yesterday... and i knew nothing about it at all. my telephone manager wil be leaving, 2 GSAs are leaving, aida and lv wanna leave too, people from concierge, executive floor and business centre are all leaving too... soon it'll be my turn. but operation will go on, conrad will remain as a 5 star luxury hotel.
oh, what a weird world this is.
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Posted by maei at 8:10 PM
what is your life path?look at this look at this!!!
*excited*
saw the quiz on sy's site that doesn't require to answer anything but to plug in values for your birthday, and VOILA!
| Your Life Path Number is 6 |
 Your purpose in life is to help others You are very compassionate, and you offer comfort to those around you. It pains you to see other people hurting, and you do all in your power to help them. You take on responsibility, and don't mind personal sacrifice. You are the ultimate giver. In love, you offer warmth and protection to your partner. You often give too much of yourself, and you rarely put your own needs first. Emotions tend to rule your decisions too much, especially when it comes to love. And while taking care of people is great, make sure to give them room to grow on their own. |
sounds like me, hopefully. haha. i do relate to it personally.
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